Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Getting kicked out of youth group

I figured I would tell you the whole back story on why I was kicked out of youth group.  I think it was a series of things that kind of added up.  We got a new youth pastor.  He was the kind of guy who didn't like to be questioned. I am the kind of girl to ask a lot of questions.  I don't blindly accept things, so I would often question what he was saying.  It wasn't ever intended to question his authority, but more to get at the truth and to find out how and why what he was saying was true.

I also questioned myself a lot.  I questioned my faith, whether or not I was really a Christian or not.  Not from a lack of faith in God or in the Bible, but more so because I felt dirty inside and as if I wasn't lovable enough for God to really love me.  I said once that I wasn't sure I was a Christian.  This statement was repeated to my Youth Pastor. He never came to me about it, but I think it skewed his opinion of me.

One night, he was teaching us about sex and that we should stay away from it.  He said that sex was like a bomb and that you should never get close to a bomb.  Me, being me, wanted a more decisive answer than that.  A bomb was too vague.  I asked him what the line was, what was too far?  When did physical activity change from innocent to sinful?  Kissing, past kissing, what?  All he could say was to stay as far away from the bomb as possible.  I believe I just rolled my eyes at him and he assumed that I was much more "active" than what was anywhere near the truth. 

None of this was why I was kicked out of youth group though.  All of the youth sat in a certain pew together during church hour.  I would sit and listen to the sermons and take notes, most of the time.  Other of the youth would act up, pass notes, and be disruptive.  Instead of just talking to us about it, the Church's great plan was to make it so that those pews we sat in were no longer open for use.  They said that it was supposed to be left for the late comers.  Interestingly, that was only the case during the service that the youth attended.  I found the rule to be ridiculous.  I sat and listened, that is where I was comfortable sitting, and I figured that they should be more concerned with the fact that I was sitting in a pew at all instead of worrying about what pew I sat in.

One Sunday I moved the rope and sat down.  My friends came and joined me.  We were told that we had to move.  It was not a request.  I grabbed my things and walked out and went back to my house.  I began attending church with my parents who had left that church about a year before.  I continued to go to youth group though.  One night the Youth Pastor called me into his office and told me that I was not allowed to come to youth group anymore since I no longer went to church there on Sundays.  Interestingly there were about 4 or 5 other people who didn't go to that church on Sundays either, but they were still allowed to go to youth group.

A couple of months later a couple of my friends stopped at my house and said that I should come back.  When I told them that the Youth Pastor had said I couldn't they told me that it would be okay, that he would let me now.  I figured that since one of them was the pastor's son that it would be okay.  I was wrong.  As soon as the Youth Pastor came in and saw me he told me to leave.  He said that I wasn't welcome to come back to Youth Group.  He had a meeting with me later and told me that if I wanted to go back to that Youth Group that I would have to apologize to the church for walking out of service and I would have to start going to church there on Sundays.  Suffice it to say, I don't hold a lot of love in my heart for this man.  Oh, this is the funniest part of our discussion that I remember, he told me that I was the kind of person to be easily led astray.  The kind that would blindly follow someone.  I never have understood his logic or reasoning in saying this to me.  People who question, don't typically follow easily, thus his main issue with me, but I digress.

I went home and told my parents what had happened.  My Mom asked if I told him to F off.  If you knew my Mom at all, you would realize how funny this is and how angry his behavior made her since my Mother NEVER swears and especially not that word.  I told her I didn't, but that I had wanted to throw a little paper weight at his head as I sat there and listened to him.  I also told her that it was a good thing that I had a strong sense of who God was and that I didn't see the Youth Pastor's behavior as a reflection of who God is, because otherwise I might not ever go back to church again.  I never did go back to that youth group, or that church.

 So, that is the story of how I got kicked out of youth group.  Wasn't I just such the wild rebel?!  LOL....I still have to shake my head at the whole experience.  So, when I say that I don't follow rules that are ridiculous and put into place just to control someone, that is an example of what I mean. 


  1. I was so mad and still think it was unbelievable that he treated you this way. It is a good thing your faith wasn't fragile or he could have really pushed you away from God. I remember writing him a letter expressing my opinions at his behavior. I don't believe he responded. Grrr - it still gets me riled up. I wonder if he has changed at all.

  2. that is truly unbelievable--especially in a youth pastor. Is that when you joined us? Well, at least I'm grateful for the switch! It makes me very, very grateful for our church and the way it ministers to people.

  3. Lakeview was where we went when I was young, then we started going to this other church when I was in high school, because of the youth group. I did return to Lakeview after that incident.


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