So, I went to the Rheum again today. He is just old and straight forward. Not much bedside manner. I took my husband with me in order to get a second opinion. He said he could see how I would feel blown off by him. All of my tests came back negative. So, once again, there is no reason why I should be feeling pain. Lovely. The only test that was boredline to being positive was the rheumatoid one. He thinks I might have bursitis, so he took x-rays of my hips and knees. The results should come in tomorrow. Nothing was discussed about my jaw even though it is still in pain. He wants me to see him again in 2 months. He prescribed a different pain med and also wants me to start taking 2000 mg of vitamin D a day. While I was at the checkout desk he came out and asked how the cymbalta was working for me and if I still felt suicidal. There was no one around but the staff, my husband, and I, but I still felt that was an inappropriate place to ask such a personal question. Especially since the lobby/waiting area is open air into the main buiding. Anyone walking by could have heard what was being said. Anyways, I am really frustrated with myself and my body and the fact that once again it has pretty much proven pointless to look into what is causing me pain. The only good that has come out of this whole thing is that I am feeling better about talking and I get to see Rachel once a week.
If it would help to scream I would scream but it won't change anything, so I write, cuz then at least I can get the feelings out.
*still haven't heard anything about my x-rays I will need to call and ask on Monday.*