Sunday, May 5, 2013

Travel Log Day One

In case you missed it, we are moving, as in right now.  From Bremerton, Washington in the Pac NW all the way to Groton, Ct on the East Coast.  About as far away from home as we can go and still be in the continental US.

Today's Goal #1:  Wake up and head out at 4 am. 

Today's Reality:  It was somewhere closer to 8 am by the time everyone woke up and we didn't head out until 9:45. 

Yesterday was packing our stuff up that we wanted to bring with us after the movers got everything else and loading up the vehicles.  At 11 pm last night as we were still loading up the cars and had a lot left to do I decided that 4 am was just not going to happen.  At least not very happily.  I don't regret that decision.

Today's Goal # 2:  Drive to Billings, Mt.  A 13 hour and 5 minute drive w/o stops.

Today's Reality:  We made it to Missoula, Mt. An 8 hour 13 minute trip w/o stops.  It ended up being an 11 hour car ride with many bathroom and food stops.  And we lost an hour with the time change.  We are currently in Mountain time.  It is 12:08 am and no one in our room is asleep.  I can't say who is sleeping or awake in my Sister's room.  She is traveling with us and has three of our kids in her room.  Everyone has been bathed/showered and are dressed in their clothes for tomorrow in order to make for a quick get-a-way.

Today's favorite Moments:

1.  When Kody and Klara actually chose to sit next to each other and played tic-tac-toe together nicely for ten minutes without argument or hating each other.  It was the first ten minutes of sibling cohesiveness between the two of them in the last 5 years.  I am pretty sure that is not an exaggeration even.

2.  When Kamden spilled soda in the back row and my sister tried to throw him a roll of paper towels. She tried 3 times before handing it to Klara to give to him.  Each of her tries the roll hit the ceiling of the van bounced off and hit Klara in the head.  We found this extremely funny.

3. Kamden and Kody having a conversation in the back row.  What I heard: "Mom tell Kody that Ninevah is not in the united states!"  Me: "What?  Ninevah?  No, Ninevah is not in the US."   Me to my Sister: "Why are they talking about Ninevah?"  Sister:  "He said Canada, not Ninevah." Me: "Oh that makes much more sense.  No Canada is not in the US.  It is above it."  Kam: "See Kody I told you!" 


4. Watching Karson eat his Ice cream cone.  All the kids were excited that they got to eat their dessert before their dinner tonight.

5. Kalen opening her Tardis thingamajiggy for her birthday this morning and being really excited.  I don't have a picture of that though, so you can get a picture of her licking the cookie dough batter from the cookies that she got to take to school for her birthday yesterday. 

This moving thing still doesn't seem real.  I feel like we should be heading back home in a couple of days.  Maybe the reality of it will hit me by the time we get to Groton.  Yesterday and this morning were more painful goodbyes.  Saying goodbye to my daytime daughter was gut wrenching.  Steve and I both broke down more than once over it.  Then saying goodbye to our family today, ugh.  One good thing about being on the road is that there are no more goodbyes to be had for the next two weeks until my Sister flies back home.  After that, it will all be hello's for a while.  Time for me to hop into the tub.  My first real tubby in months, I am looking forward to it!  6 am is going to come early though.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Hard Goodbye

Today was a day of goodbyes. 
 I couldn't let myself really sink into the goodbye's too deeply or I wouldn't have been able to move on to the next. 
 It started with my last visit to the hospital where my boys receive their therapies once a week. 
We go two different days a week for 3 different boys. 
 One of the secretaries I have been chit chatting casual conversations with for the last 9 years.  Knowing that I would not be walking into that waiting room again was hard enough, but when I left there I went to my hardest goodbye......
The hard goodbye that leaves me tear soaked and childlike.
  The one that emotionally has my child me clinging to legs and begging to stay while the rational me pulls that clinging child away.
 It was a very hard goodbye. 
 I couldn't let myself sink completely into it while I was there. 
 Now that it is 7 hours later the depth of it is washing over me. 
 I want to run back in time and say more, feel more, be more, but there is no running back into time; 
  no re-opening that door and clinging to legs for one more moment.

So I will breathe and lay back into it, try to float above these lapping waves of sadness so that they don't over take me. 
I know that the sun will rise tomorrow and that the hurting child will calm and somehow learn to grow. 
But for now I will let her and I ride on these emotions,
because if I don't we both might drown.

Linking with