From my archive of unpublished writings.
December 4, 2017
This has been on my heart for years, to share about being in the midst.
The problem with sharing about being in the midst is that it means you are right there in it. It means you are vulnerable and vulnerability is incredibly risky.
It is also easy to feel like you are no good to anyone when you are right there in the middle of whatever it is you are going through, be it depression, anxiety, sucky ass parenting problems, or just a season of hard.
Who am I? You might ask. Who am I to be of anything good to anyone.? I don't have it all figured out. I don't have the amazing story of how I made it from here to there, I am just here.
Can I tell you something? I would love to hear someone stand up and say "Here I am! In all my mess. Here I am, can you relate? Here I am, but I know that God is here too, or maybe I don't feel Him here and need you to remind me. Here I am and maybe God can still use me right now in this place to help you."
Does anyone else want to hear that too? I don't mean hear it whispered on the side lines. I want to hear it from the pulpit, from the women's groups, from the public places. I want to hear that it is okay not to have it all figured out. I want to hear it is okay to struggle.
That would be risky, I know. To let some mud up on a stage where the lights are meant to make things shine. But didn't Jesus come to bring light to those dirty dark places? Didn't Jesus always come and meet us right there in the middle of our humanity in all of its messy unpleasantness?
The Bible is full of stories of people who are living in the middle of their messes and God using them right there to His glory. Why do we have a culture that says we need it all figured out before we can open up our mouths to share? There is a lot of power in the "me, too." There is a lot of power in hearing that someone else is where you are. There is a lot of power in being able to share where you are and knowing that where you are is okay and that others are with you. Shouldn't that be the culture of our churches?