The stranger knocking at my door: 2014

     We are heading into our second full week of the New Year.  A lot of fellow bloggers are choosing their word for the year.  It seems as though most everyone has swept out the old year and made themselves ready for the new.  New Year's always seems to bring out anticipation and excitement in most people.  A mentality of:

Out with the old and in with the new!

Most years I do not anticipate the forward momentum of time with excitement.  If anything I tend to feel like time is standing on the outside of the door about to turn the handle and I am on the other side holding that door closed with all my might. 

There is no peep hole into time.  No looking through to see what it is that will be coming into your life. 

When I was in High School youth group my favorite youth leader once asked us what our biggest fears were in life.  My answer was the future.  None of my peers or leaders seemed to understand that answer.

At the time I feared never finding love.  I feared failing at life.  I feared life never really getting better than what it was. 

I did not fear the present I was living in, I feared the unknown that I was heading into.

That was almost a quarter of a century ago that I spoke my fears out in that church basement. Not much has changed.  Almost every new year I get a bit anxious as the marking of time is about to tick over; like a school girl on Sunday night before a new week of school. 

The present is like my home.  I know where things are.  I know who is and isn't inside it's walls. 

The future is like the stranger knocking at the door in the night with no way to tell who it is or what it brings.

Our church, much like my fellow bloggers, has chosen words to claim over this new year.  They revealed them in church today.  The words that they chose are "ALL IN!" 



Seaport Community Church



As they posted this picture I leaned over to my husband and whispered that I would be the person clinging to the rocks trying not to fall off (If that person were actually in that picture.)

The image speaks to me.  I am not so sure about the verse yet. 

Maybe because my life has meant so little to me over the years.  Or because of all the times I have asked God to "please just take my life", as I have stood at the door of time desperately trying to keep it shut.  But then there are those three little words in the verse that stick and catch: "for My sake". 

See, I have always been willing to give up my life for my own sake, because I fear.  How readily have I been willing to hand it over for His sake? 


Personally, I don't have a word to place over this year or a theme in which to categorize 2014 under. Instead I will loosen the grip to my front door and see what lies outside for His sake and not hold it closed so tightly for my own sake.