*I can already tell you that this will not take a mere five minutes. *
The truth of it...of it all...in everything...I desire the truth. I speak about it. Write about it. Write about its opposite, the lies; the ones that whisper, howl, and hide in the dark corners of my mind.
But when it comes down to it, how much truth do I really want, because when you know the truth you have to make a decision. A decision to accept it or a decision to reject it.
I am sitting here in this moment with truth looking me square in the face, calling out to me and now I have to choose what I am to do with it.
These lies that blow about me and churn inside of me that tell me who I am and who I am not, they have been held up to the light of truth. The light that spreads like fire and burns out the infection and causes me to make a choice. The choice to believe the truth or reject it. If I believe it then I must act on it. If I reject it I do so at my own peril. Or do I believe the truth and choose yet the other option of still holding onto the lie. Do I hold truth in one hand and the lies in the other?
I think of the dwarves in the final Narnia book. The ones who were so afraid of being deceived by anyone that they sat in their own darkness, one of their own making. We have had enough of apes and of lions, the dwarfs are for the dwarfs they would say. They were so afraid that because they had believed the lying ape that the truth of the lion would prove to be just as much of a letdown. They made a blackened prison of their own because they chose not to choose either and thus chose themselves. And in doing so created a new lie of their own making.
I don't want to be like that. I don't want to sit in my own fear built prison just because I had been so duped by the lies that I am scared to believe the light of the truth for the fear of being 'duped' again. I don't want to be left scrounging around my manure covered hovel of darkness because I am saying "Karmen is for Karmen" like the dwarfs were for the dwarfs.
I am standing with the truth in my right hand and the lies in the left.....the choice is mine to make.
I look at them both squarely. I know where the lies have led me and I know where indecision will leave me, so I let go of the left and I move forward in the right, because it is the only choice where TRUTH is leading.