Saturday, April 6, 2013

Like successfully playing operation in an earthquake......

I have been trying to think of something to write about all evening.  I find that I love to write but so often the blank screen stares at me and words fail to fill it.  When I finally do put down words I often second guess them and end up deleting it all or saving the starts of something for another day.  I think I have started and erased or saved about four different things tonight.

Of course being able to focus on anything for more than a few seconds is a feat that could be likened to successfully playing the game operation during an earthquake...... in otherwords darn near impossible.  Even on a night like tonight when things are fairly quiet.  I have one daughter gone and no extra children, so we are down to 6 kids.  But even so, my solitude during waking hours consists of me lying on my bed with two littles ages 4 and 2 accompanying me.  There are various appendages poking, prodding, banging, and laying on every part of me.  (Late naps in the afternoon made for a late evening tonight.) These moments are precious and fleeting, I know.  The bigs in the other rooms of the house are proof of that.  But sometimes it would be nice to have a moment's peace before the stroke of midnight. 

They are in bed now.  The house is almost quiet, just the sounds of the tv in the other room can be heard.  I can finally hear the rain outside against the roof.  I didn't even know it was raining before now. 

It is in moments like these that I realize just how much I miss the quiet.  I don't wish the children to be grown, I know how quickly that will come, but how I miss the quiet.  The space in which to think without interuption is so very rare. 

The older I get the more I find that need for solitude and quiet.  I think I will bask in the sound of raindrops falling on my roof for awhile. 

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