I have been trying to think of something to write about all evening. I find that I love to write but so often the blank screen stares at me and words fail to fill it. When I finally do put down words I often second guess them and end up deleting it all or saving the starts of something for another day. I think I have started and erased or saved about four different things tonight.
Of course being able to focus on anything for more than a few seconds is a feat that could be likened to successfully playing the game operation during an earthquake...... in otherwords darn near impossible. Even on a night like tonight when things are fairly quiet. I have one daughter gone and no extra children, so we are down to 6 kids. But even so, my solitude during waking hours consists of me lying on my bed with two littles ages 4 and 2 accompanying me. There are various appendages poking, prodding, banging, and laying on every part of me. (Late naps in the afternoon made for a late evening tonight.) These moments are precious and fleeting, I know. The bigs in the other rooms of the house are proof of that. But sometimes it would be nice to have a moment's peace before the stroke of midnight.
They are in bed now. The house is almost quiet, just the sounds of the tv in the other room can be heard. I can finally hear the rain outside against the roof. I didn't even know it was raining before now.
It is in moments like these that I realize just how much I miss the quiet. I don't wish the children to be grown, I know how quickly that will come, but how I miss the quiet. The space in which to think without interuption is so very rare.
The older I get the more I find that need for solitude and quiet. I think I will bask in the sound of raindrops falling on my roof for awhile.