Ten things I have learned at the hospital so far.

1.Modesty stops mattering when you are coming out of anesthesia.

first morning without a thyroid

2.It is impossible to relieve yourself on a bed pan, while in bed.

3.Sitting on a bed pan while trying to make yourself go for thirty minutes makes said bed pan want to attach itself to your body.  

4.Bed pans that attach to you means that you are really glad for lesson number one.

5.  Morphine is not my friend.  The nausea and dizziness made walking to the bathroom impossible.

6. When using a bed side potty chair make sure that the catching tray is securely in place. If it isn't you will know it when you stand up and your bathroom victory is now splashed all over the floor.

7. Wearing underwear and pajama pants never felt so good after going 24 hours without either.  

8.  Always circle the dessert on your menu option even if there is only one choice.  No circle means no dessert.  No dessert means a sad pouting face.

9.  Percocet is my friend for trying to get some sleep. Although it made me dream that I was filled with helium and was going to float off the bed. 

10.  Always bring your own pillows and blanket to the hospital with you.  It helps with comfort.

This sweet little bear is watching over me.