Five Minute Friday: Encouragement

I wrote this today in response to my friend's blog post in her comments section.  It just spilled out of me.  I share it with you, because as much as it was for her it is also for you.  The you who wonders why you bother to write.  The you who is knee deep in mess and hurt or maybe even so deep in it that you feel as though you are drowning and the mess and the hurt is gurgling up inside of your throat.  The you whose life is going well and good and you share from that space of joy and happiness.  The you who isn't sure that what you write really means all that much.  It is for all of you, because all of you have a story.  All of us have a story.  Sharing your story makes my life better.

In response to Why Words Matter 

I have been pondering the why a lot as well. My why is because the words need spilling. I fill and I fill and they need a place to empty out to. It is also to know I am not alone and to let others know the same. It is one thing to tell the story of from here to there tied up neatly in a bow, but it is quite another to tell the story of the getting to the there; the being in the midst of it deep and never fully knowing if there is even a place, but hoping that it is and that you will find it.

It is a deep bravery I think to tell this story, because it is now and in the moment. It is an opening of all that is raw and holy and messy and sinful and pouring it out like an offering upon an alter. Your writing is a place where other cave dwellers can meet for community around the bon fire of your words and find acceptance and grace and to say "Yes, somewhere, someday we will come to the mouth of the cave and find the light shining beautiful into our blinking eyes."

It is a place where those outside the cave can say "We are out here and we will wait for you, it exists, this there is real and when you make it we will rejoice along with you for the journey."

Oh friend how I love you and your words and your blinking in the light of there and for the days of caves and darkness and for being a bon fire for others like me to warm ourselves around.

You are cherished friend.


Keep sharing your words fellow bloggers.  Keep being a warm fire for others of us to warm ourselves with.  If you are in a cave of depression, shame, loneliness, anger, hurt, or any other hard thing, keep sharing.  If you are outside the cave taking in the wonders of light keep on sharing.  All of your words, all of your stories, they encourage me. 

Joining in for FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY

Bridging the Gap

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3/1/13



               

Bridging the Gap

  Through one of my favorite blogs
Momastery

I was directed to another blog called

My Life's Journey. 

I have read quite a few of the authors blogs already

and she has given me so much to think upon and ponder.  

It is quickly becoming one of my favorite reading spots

 along with another favorite of mine

(May I ask you a question?). 
The commonality between the authors is   they are honest about their struggles and brave in their addressing them.  They make me think.  They make me want to BE brave.  They make me question.    All good things.   

I wasn't sure what I was going to do in

9 weeks

when I stop seeing my counselor

(A topic in and of itself for another day). 

I wasn't sure how I was going to handle that transition

of having someone to talk to and to ask me questions

 and invite me to define my feelings and opinions

on topics that I might easily allow to sit over on the shelf under a layer of dust. 

These blogs, and I am sure others that I will find like them, will help to bridge that gap. 
So thank you ladies for writing, thank you for being brave and honest,  and thank you for making me think. 


You stretch my faith,  you stretch my heart, and you stretch my mind. 
I hope you don't mind me using you from time to time to jump start my own blog posts. 


Thank you for being my Bridge.

Escaping Repunzel's Tower

Our family went and saw the movie "Tangled" tonight.  It was really cute.  Surprisingly, I found a bit of myself in the character of Repunzel.  I could relate to being locked in a tower, afraid to leave, but not wanting to stay.  Unlike Repunzel though, my captivity is of my own making.  My walls aren't made of mortar and bricks like hers were they are walls that I have made from years of silence.  Carefully I have laid brick on top of brick to keep myself safe and locked away.  An unknown heart can't be rejected.

I don't have hair to let down and escape my towers with, but I have words.  I have words that need saying and writing sets them free.  For years I would hold a pen to paper and nothing would come.  It is like I was looking out the window of my tower and waiting for my hair to grow before I could escape.  So, now I sit with pen in hand - tossing my hair out the window if you will.

At this point in the movie as Repunzel slid down her hair she paused.  She paused just inches away from freedom.  It wasn't enough for her to slide down her hair, she had to go beyond that and set her feet on unfamiliar ground.  She had to let her toes meet and mingle with what the earth had to offer.

I, too, am dangling inches from freedom.  Holding tight to the escape of written word.  Words that are said in writing can only go so far though.  My "earth" is that of speaking and being heard.  I need to let my voice meet and mingle and see what listening ears might have to offer.

My time for isolation is over.  I need to drop into the unfamiliar and set myself free - words made with sound behind them.

In many ways, Repunzel was her own hero.  It was her hair that set her free and her courage that gave her strength to touch the ground.  She wasn't alone though, she didn't do it on her own.  Being a Disney movie she had her little constant companion.  Interestingly it was a chameleon.   It could change colors to reflect its surroundings.   Along with her companion she also had a guide to help her travel this unfamiliar road. 

I am wanting a hero, but I think that I am going to have to be my own heroine.  It is going to be my voice and my voice alone that can rescue me.  I don't have to do it alone though.  I prayed for God to send me a guide.  Someone to help me navigate this strange new tower-less world I am entering.  In many ways, I guess I could say that you all are my companion.  You match your support for what my surroundings need at the moment.  You are here to cheer me on and help give me the strength to keep on going. I also think that my new counselor will help to be my guide.  I think she will be the one to help me find my way "home"* and keep me from getting lost in the woods along the way.

It is still hard for me to talk.  I still struggle with "putting word on top of word with eyes that are looking"**, but I have a plan.  I have bought a microphone and I am going to start recording myself reading my blogs.  I am going to try and familiarize myself with my words being spoken.  Hopefully this will stop the words from getting frozen in my throat as I sit and look into eyes.  I am ready to escape from Repunzel's Tower.
*Ripping Away the Band-aids Part One
**Ripping Away the Band-aids Part Two, Section B