Heaven Came Down

I am sharing with you excepts from the book "Suffering and the Heart of God: How trauma destroys and God restores" by Diane Langberg (page 7 my highlighted sections), because this is Christmas.  This is God.  This is our call as His Church. 

What does heaven do? Heaven leaves heaven...

Heaven comes down.

The church goes into the dungeon so that the dungeon becomes the church. God came down so as to lift up.

God became like us so that we might become like Him.  He came to this dung-filled dungeon we call earth and sat with us, touched us, loved us, and called us to Him.

He also enters into the dungeons of our hearts and 

transforms them.

God is power becoming little, coming down to embrace what is alien.  There is no them; there is only us.

This is what Christmas is all about.  This is why He came.  This is why I share the following every year since I first wrote it, because I want everyone to know that He came for them.  He came for me.  He came for you.  No matter where we are, how dark, or how dirty, Christ came for us ALL!   

When You Feel Too Dirty For The Nativity To Be For You

*originally posted 12/21/13*

*Warning, there is some swearing in this post. *

Most of us have heard it, the nativity story, some of us dozens of times if not more.

The Christ child born of Mary in a stable and laid in a manger while shepherds quake and angels sing.

Mary and Joseph chosen of God to bear and raise the King of Kings.

And it was asked for me to tell which of these people in the story spoke most to me. And the truth is they didn't speak, not even a whisper. They felt too far, too distant from me and my filth. They felt too squeaky clean.

I questioned my Christianity.

How could they not even whisper?

Without this birth, this baby, there would be no Savior.

A baby born to bear my sins.

I have heard it said by others that they have done and been and seen too much for God to ever forgive them.

This Christmas story leads to the Cross.

Where sinless Jesus took on our sins, bore our burdens, so we could be free/redeemed.

The Cross to the Resurrection.

I wrote once about the thorns of sin that I knowingly and willingly walked into:

"I look at my blood stained skin, the thorns dipped in red.  Suddenly they are not just my thorns, they are Christ's.  I have crowned Him in these thorns that I willingly walked into.  He suffered, bled His own blood, skin pierced by the thorns that weren't His own.  His glory forsaken, to be crowned in my sin." 

I realized tonight that I struggle so much with relating to the people in the Christmas story, because I have felt more like the shit filled stable.  Smelly, disgusting.  Guilt ridden knowing that I will pierce that baby with these thorns. 

So, I wonder if those people who think they are too shit filled for Jesus feel a lot like that; guilty for putting their thorns and crap on a baby.  Is it the manger story that makes the Cross of Christ so hard for our minds to bear? 

God reminded me tonight of something I think is often over looked.  At least I know that I have over looked it and that is this:

Before Jesus came to earth as a tender, sweet baby, He sat on the throne in Heaven where all of time was laid out before Him. 

He saw and knew exactly what thorns/sins I would crown Him with that day on Calvary, long before He lay in swaddling clothes.  And He still came to earth.  And He chose to come to earth in a stable.

I don't think that was an over sight on His part.

He was born in a shit filled stable and laid in a manger, so that people who feel like I did can rest assured that He can be born in them too.

So I don't relate to a person in this story, I relate to the place.

Come be born in me again this Christmas, Lord Jesus.

When you feel too dirty for the Nativity to be for you

For the ones who feel lost to their own filth, or the filth that surrounds them; the ones who feel unworthy or unacceptable of a Savior born into the smallness of a baby; the ones who cannot relate to the people of the Nativity story.

When You Feel Too Dirty For The Nativity To Be For You

*originally posted 12/21/13*

*Warning, there is some swearing in this post. *

Most of us have heard it, the nativity story, some of us dozens of times if not more.

The Christ child born of Mary  laid in a manger while shepherds quake and angels sing.

Mary and Joseph chosen of God to bear and raise the King of Kings.

And it was asked for me to tell which of these people in the story spoke most to me. And the truth is they didn't speak, not even a whisper. They felt too far, too distant from me and my filth. They felt too squeaky clean.

I questioned my Christianity.

How could they not even whisper?

Without this birth, this baby, there would be no Savior.

A baby born to bear my sins.

I have heard it said by others that they have done and been and seen too much for God to ever forgive them.

This Christmas story leads to the Cross.

Where sinless Jesus took on our sins, bore our burdens, so we could be free/redeemed.

The Cross to the Resurrection.

I wrote once about the thorns of sin that I knowingly and willingly walked into:

"I look at my blood stained skin, the thorns dipped in red.  Suddenly they are not just my thorns, they are Christ's.  I have crowned Him in these thorns that I willingly walked into.  He suffered, bled His own blood, skin pierced by the thorns that weren't His own.  His glory forsaken, to be crowned in my sin." 

I realized tonight that I struggle so much with relating to the people in the Christmas story, because I have felt more like the shit filled stable.  Smelly, disgusting.  Guilt ridden knowing that I will pierce that baby with these thorns. 

So, I wonder if those people who think they are too shit filled for Jesus feel a lot like that; guilty for putting their thorns and crap on a baby.  Is it the manger story that makes the Cross of Christ so hard for our minds to bear? 

God reminded me tonight of something I think is often over looked.  At least I know that I have over looked it and that is this:

Before Jesus came to earth as a tender, sweet baby, He sat on the throne in Heaven where all of time was laid out before Him. 

He saw and knew exactly what thorns/sins I would crown Him with that day on Calvary, long before He lay in swaddling clothes.  And He still came to earth.  And He chose to come to earth in a stable.

I don't think that was an over sight on His part.

He was born in a shit filled stable, so that people who feel like I did can rest assured that He can be born in them, too.

So I don't relate to a person in this story, I relate to the place.

Come be born in me again this Christmas, Lord Jesus

May this Christmas bring you a fresh filling of Christ, a blessed reassurance that nothing you have done or can do can make you too dirty for Jesus to come and fill your heart.  All of my love for all of you who are reading, wherever and whoever you are.

Great Wolf Lodge

As our Christmas present this year from my Sister and her husband they took our family to Great Wolf Lodge water park in Olympia, Washington.  We told the kids only that they were going on a surprise somewhere.  We left the baby with friends who were kind enough to keep him overnight and we brought along our 7 year old neighbor boy. 

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot and they could read the sign the kids went nuts! They were so excited, because they have been begging to go there since it opened 2 or 3 years ago.  The place is definitely geared towards kids (and taking money from your wallets).  My husband and I both agreed that we wouldn't want to go back again and that for your money you get more bang for your buck at Silverwood in Idaho as far as waterparks go, but we were glad that we got to experience it. 

Everything there is expensive with a capital "E".  Very little is complimentary and the extras when you have 7 kids, well, they just aren't worth it.  If you have more than 3 kids I don't know that I would suggest going there. 

Here is a pic from our trip.  Like I said, the kids had a blast!  This is the first picture taken after we got there.

It's The Most Wonderful Day Of The Year.....

Today is Christmas.  The day that every child dreams of for 364 days out of the year.  Our Christmas this year ended up being wonderful.  Well, wonderful for the most part.  It started out at 6 am this morning.  Our church has a Julotta service at 7 am every Christmas.  Julotta is a Swedish tradition.  Our family loves starting Christmas off this way.  It is a great way to begin the celebration of Christ's birth and remember the reason that we celebrate. 

It is relaxed, so those who want to come in their jammies can and the rest can come in their Christmas best.  I always go in my jammies of course, because that is jut the kind of person that I am.  If I have the option to be comfortable, I will pretty much always choose comfort over beauty.  It is really cute seeing the kids choir sing with half of the kids dressed to the nines and half of them in their pajamas.  My kids, as you may have already guessed, always go in their new Christmas jammies that they get on Christmas Eve. The church is lit by candlelight and Christmas lights.  It is decorated beautifully and we sing Christmas songs, various church members play the piano, sing solos or duets, etc.  There is also always a bell choir.  Then we have a short sermon, sing a couple more songs, and afterwards we visit and eat Swedish cookies.  The years that Julotta has had to be cancelled due to weather conditions it never quite feels like Christmas. 

After Julotta we come home and make breakfast, which usually consists of cinnamon rolls, sausage, and juice.  Typically I always make the cinnamon rolls, but this year Albertsons made them.  (I am really glad, too, since I ended up getting some sort of a tummy bug that has had me running to the bathroom all day.)  As we eat breakfast we each open our stockings and snack on some candy and see what fun little things that Santa left in them. 

This year we started a new tradition on how the presents get handed out.  One person starts and picks a present by random and hands it to whoever's name is on the package.  When that person finishes opening the present it is then their turn to go and pick a present.  The one rule is that you can't choose a gift with your name on it.  By doing it this way everyone gets a chance to play "Santa".  It also keeps things nice and calm, even when there are 7 kids and 8 adults opening up the gifts. 

The kids all did a great job being patient and taking turns.  Everyone was grateful for what they got and had an enjoyable 2 hours of present opening and watching others opening their gifts.  We also clean up the wrapping paper as we go and the kids would take the opened gifts to their rooms so that our fairly small living room area wouldn't get too overwhelming with stuff.

After presents, the kids ate insane amounts of candy, we all snacked on various goodies and such.  Around 4 we ate pot roast, roasted veggies, and dinner rolls.  Then I went and took a two hour nap, because I was just wiped out!

After my nap we "found" a present that "accidentally" got forgotten about.  It was a family gift for all of the kids......An Xbox360/Kinect combo.  Currently the kids are having fun trying to figure out how to use and stay far enough away from the sensor.  I hope that all of you are having/had a wonderful Christmas.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas with the Cousins 12/19/2010

Backrow: Dylan 10, Kamden 9

Middle Row: Brayden 7, Klara, 5, Kalen 8, Kody 7

Bottom Row: Klayton 8 months, Katie 11, Rylin 2, Karson 2 

Madan Family Christmas 12/19/2010

Steve(Husband), Karmen (me), Mike (FIL), Devin (BIL), Erika (SIL)

Nenita (MIL)

White/Madan/Knierim Christmas

Christmas Eve Jammies and Slippers 12/24/2010

John (BIL), Kay (Sister), Karmen (me), Klayton 8 mo., Steve (Husband)

Klara 5, Katie 11, Kody 7, Karson 2, Kamden 9, Kalen 8

It's A Christmas Miracle!!!!....

So, my kids and I have this little thing that we do.  If something un-expected happens one of us or a few of us at the same time will say, "It's a Christmas Miracle!"  I can't really remember how that started, but it has been our little thing for a year or two now.

Tonight I got my own little "Christmas Miracle".  I went to Wal-Mart, because I wanted a little bag to keep my embroidery in, so that when I am waiting for Dr. appointments I can have something to do.  I was looking at one really cute bag, but it was $12 and I am super cheap, so that was a bit too rich for my blood, plus it didn't really have enough zippers, so I was looking around trying to find something else that I might like for less money that would work better.  Low and behold I saw it, the perfect bag!  It had lots of pockets, zippers, a place for everything. It could replace my purse, hold my embroidery stuff, and had enough room for Klayton's diaper needs.  Can I say again, that it is the PERFECT bag.  Best part of all, it was on clearance from $20 down to $9.  The cheapskate in me was completely willing to spend 9 bucks on it, so up to the register I went. 

When the clerk rang it up she looked at me and said, "That will be $5.41 please."  What, it was almost 1/2 off the sale price!  I said, "Merry Christmas to me! I love when that happens."  It was my own little Christmas Miracle!  And with the money I saved I went and bought myself a large iced hazelnut coffee from McD's.  Yeah, tonight was pretty much awesome.  Gotta love nights like that!

You didn't think I would blog about the perfect bag without at least showing you what it looked like did you?  So here it is, my perfect $5.41 bag that is exactly what I wanted! 

 The inside of the bag.  With all of my things neatly stored.  Have I mentioned that I love this bag?!

 The outside of the bag.  It is a very cute brown and pink.  Let me say again, $5.41 of pure awesomeness!

I will spare you a video of me doing my finger pointing, white girl, happy "woo hooin" dance.  =)

Christmas Is Coming.....

Christmas is coming, it is right around the corner.  I am SO not ready for it.  For the first time in years I have no idea what I have/don't have/still need.  I am going to have to go through my closet and take an inventory of gifts and figure it all out here pretty soon. 

I am not too stressed out about, because this year Husband and I decided that we were going to do big family gifts instead of a bunch of little individual gifts.  That takes a lot of the load off.  Santa is going to bear the brunt of the gift bearing this year.  ; )

How are you all doing in your Christmas preparations? 

Klara's Christmas play at church is coming up around the corner.  She is so excited!  She wants to invite everyone to come and see it.  She keeps asking me if she can invite her "fingah doctah" aka her finger doctor from the Naval Hospital.  So, if any of you are interested in coming to see an adorable little 5 year old steal the Christmas show with her 5 lines, just let me know. =)  The play is on Saturday evening on the 18th and during church hour on Sunday the 19th.  Hopefully some of you can make it. (Sylvan Way Baptist Church)

In other news, I am deep into the healing and processing of my past.  I am still writing.  Daily.  Most of what I am writing though is too raw and tender for a forum like this, so it is mainly just for myself and my counselor for the time being.  I appreciate all of you that have been praying for me and for all the support I have been getting.  This process of healing is not an easy one and it is taking its toll on me, so if I am quiet for a bit that is why.